Sad month..

Well.. There goes this cycle.. I had hopes and dreams and high expectations of conceiving this month. I had plans to get a BFP while we were on vacation in Florida.. I had plans to take full advantage of being close to the beach and ocean by writing BFP and taking pictures of a positive pregnancy test in the sand.. That didn’t happen. I was 5 days late. I took 2 First Responses a day before AF was due.. Took a generic the following day.. Nothing.. No signs of her. When I got home, I took another generic and 2 dollar tree tests. One ended up being an Evap. On the morning of Memorial Day I woke up in so much pain and there she was. I cried. Full on- out loud cry fest for Dee.

I tried to time it. Perhaps too many expectations? Our 5 year anniversary is April 29th. I was thinking Oh.. well.. perhaps I’ll have my first child before I hit 31. It could still happen…. I’m sad.. I see the BFP’s on the Tribe and I am so happy for those women but I can’t help but be sad for me. I put TTC on hold and when we went into this 100% this cycle and the results were nada. So.. Back to the diet, exercise and meds for me and we’ll try again in a few weeks.

Our friends are getting married in Florida next March.. Looks like I definitely won’t be attending now. Unless it takes me longer to conceive. I have a goal. If I’m not pregnant by September.. Back to the RE for me to take further action. But for now. This just gave me more ambition to continue losing the weight I need. Waiting is the healthier and smarter option but I couldn’t help but try and hope. This next cycle I will invite magick into this more than last cycle and hope for the best that the Gods see me ready to have a baby.

Celtic Fertility Prayer

Hail to you, New Moon,
Beautiful guide to the clouds
May your gaze
promise new beginnings

Hail to you, New Moon,
Beautiful beloved of my heart.
May your light
shine right into my soul

Hail to you, O New Moon,
Beautiful luminary of our sky
May your wisdom
open my womb to receive

Kuan Yin Fertility Prayer

Great Bodhisattva,
Blessed Mother Kuan Yin,
I pray ye, help me to be fertile,
I pray ye, help me to be fruitful,
I pray ye, help me to conceive a healthy child,
I ask this with all of my heart,
I ask this with my body and soul,
I ask this in your holy name,
So be it! Blessed Be!
Amen!

Pagan Fertility Prayer
Prayer for Pregnancy

Help Me to Be Fruitful
Great Goddess, Empress Earth,
I pray you, help me to be fertile
I pray you, help me to be fruitful
I pray you, help me to conceive a healthy child
I ask this with all of my heart
I ask this with my body and soul
I ask this in the Lady's name
So be it! Blessed be!